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Motherhood is a club…

… And the trouble with that club is;

Once you’re in you can’t get out – I mean, I love my girls, I really do but really? This is me now, forever!

Recently I posted about my holiday / swimsuit meltdown.. I’d like to clarify that this was not prompted, as it might appear, solely by vanity. My body image ‘issues’ are firmly linked to my feelings of loss and grief for ‘me’. Issues linked to and caused by severe post natal depression.

Of course vanity plays a part, who actually enjoys feeling like they look crap? But moreover it’s about the helplessness I feel to deal with the lasting physical & emotional trauma of carrying and delivering two, huge babies.

And the thing with the motherhood club is that nobody warned me I’d feel like this. In fact, only one other person in this club has ever made me feel like she even half understood how I felt about what becoming a Mum has meant to me in real terms. Not the overwhelming love for these amazing people we created, but the crap stuff too (more about her in a future post).

And so, I find myself wondering, why is it so few people admit that Motherhood is anything but the best thing that’s ever happened to them?

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2 thoughts on “Motherhood is a club…”

  1. I totally agree re the loss of identity – or, maybe, having to find a new identity in your new role and all that brings, and all is takes away.
    I found going back to work helped as that was so much part of me and who I am (but then, ironically, got signed off for a year because I was so underweight).
    Motherhood is tough& totally not the fairy tale it’s so often sold as, and our bodies aren’t what they were, but I know I’ve learnt to respect mine a lot more for what it can do.
    Would we be without our little people? Absolutely not… But there are times when I mourn my old self, life, and body.

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    1. I certainly wouldn’t be without them but I’m not quite ‘there’ yet with respecting my body for what it can do.. I’m still too hacked off about what it can’t! :o)

      Returning to work was an important thing for me too. The irony that pre babies I was jealous of people who didn’t ‘have to’ work, yet I now work for pleasure!

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